All we saw was sky for forever
by treesarewonderful
Summary: In which we move from Zoe and Connor being children, to tweens, and then to teenagers and see the painful changes in Connor and how Zoe painfully deals with it.


**All we SAW was sky for forever**

 **GUYS IT HURTS**

 **End of May or early June 2008:**

The sky is shockingly blue. Zoe is surrounded by shivering, fragile trees bursting with red fruit. Wet grass clumps stick to her bare knees. She picks at a Star Wars Band-Aid on her elbow while spinning around and around, her brother by her side, laughing, spinning her. The colors blur, faster and faster, wind whipping her pony tail, until she collapses on the ground, giggling hysterically.  
"Connor! Connor!" she shrieks. Looking up, she is alone. She gazes up at the sky for a while and lets a frightened excited feeling come over her young mind.

"Connor? Where are you?" She sits up slowly and looks around. Nothing but trees and grass and a rabbit bounding away in the bushes. She smiles. They play this often. He'll be back soon. She stands up. "Connor! Stop hiding from me!" An idea strikes her. She'll hide, too. She scrambles up an apple tree and buries itself in its branches, her cheek against sweet sticky sap. After a while, a young boy wearing a grey jacket and a dinosaur T-Shirt rambles into the clearing. He looks around. She feels the start of a shriek or a laugh, she isn't sure which, come up to her throat. Finally, when she can't hold it anymore, Zoe drops to the ground right next to him.

"Rrrrraraah!" Connor turns around swiftly. She tilts her head, disappointed.

"You didn't act scared. You never act scared."

A tuft of dark, long hair falls in front of his eyes. Slowly he smiles, calm. They stare at each other like this for a long time. The sky is above them. The trees surround them. Time is nonexistent. They are children. Siblings. Friends. Simple.

Happy.

 **March 2012:**

"Does anyone know where my sheet music went?" Zoe peeks her head in Connor's room, where he lays on his bed with headphones. He glares up when she walks in.

"Zoooo-eeeee. Go out."

"Okay." She turns and leaves.

"You need to practice, Zoe," Cynthia calls from the living room.

Rolling her eyes, Zoe sits at the piano bench and places her fingers on the keys. She plays a jazz scale. Then she starts a Mozart sonata. It feels dry, boring, old. _She_ feels old, tired. Sighing, she tries some Debussy. Her fingers fumble. She can hear Connor's music blasting from his bedroom. Tears threaten to fall at the edge of her eyelids. What is with her today?

Her fingers feel stiff. Behind her, a door opens. Connor sits next to her. She tries not to reveal her surprise. She steps aside. He start playing something he composed, a loud frantic blues-like song, his fingers flying over the keys. She smiles, biting her fingernails. But the sadness start to creep in and tears once again threaten her. She hates that she cries so much.

Connor stands up with a final bang of a chord and slinks back off too his room. Zoe stands there, somehow unable to start playing again. Still hearing his song. That melody.

So much has changed.

 **Early September 2016:**

Scanning the audience from an exit door, Zoe spots her mom and dad. She rolls her eyes and laughs when her dad sees her and holds up a hand excitedly. As she expected, Connor isn't with them. I mean, obviously. I mean, why did the thought even cross her head. _Oh stop._

And the concert was fine. Everything was always fine. It went by almost like a slow dream. She felt tired afterwards. Something was missing.

As she went into the girl's bathroom to change a kid she recognized as Evan from her math class walked past her. He stopped and kind of stared at her for a second, then moved on, his face bright red, fingering his cast. She watched him go in silence, feeling bad for him. Oh gosh. She was being so emotional today.

She got home that evening and crawled into her bed. Everything was blurry. The past few months her life had come crashing down. Connor was out almost every night, getting high half the time. And the worst part was that kids at school liked to joke about. It hurt. Her eyes started to fill up.

She barely ever cried anymore. But tonight was weird. Painfully weird.

She knew that tomorrow she would have to get out of bed and continue being positive and helpful and smart. But she needed to let go of everything that had been building up in so long. So, for the first time in almost forever, she cried herself to sleep. She cried for herself. She cried for her parents. She even cried for Evan, who she barely knew.

But most of all she cried for her brother.

I would love requests guys, tell me what you think. Thank you for reading 3


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